flapperwitch:

I need more of Crowd Control comedians roasting the audience for trying to be funnier than the comedians themselves

A screenshot from a Dylan is in Trouble video. With an annoyed scrunched face, Dylan looks at a screen of kids in a cafeteria. The text says "*doesn't like theatre kids*"ALT

theonion:

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With deep unease and outright horror haunting millions of Americans as a great shroud enveloped the land, late-breaking reports confirmed Monday that the darkness had returned.

Bystanders first spotted the churning, amorphous black fog at 2:37 p.m., when it arose from the shadows and crept toward small towns and cornfields in the Midwest. From there, the inky swath reportedly poured through main streets nationwide, sweeping over mountains, valleys, and highways as it plunged Chicago, Minneapolis, Boston, and other metropolitan areas into eternal night and caused citizens across the country to vanish, possibly forever, inside its lightless depths.

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